Pregnancy loss warning 🚨
On August 15, 2018 we found out we were expecting a baby! It was a surprise but a great surprise! We were so thrilled to bring another baby into our family. Being a mother has given me a new purpose in life and is helping me become my best self. The thought of another baby was such a happy feeling! I got positive pregnancy tests and ended up having my first ultrasound when I was 5 weeks 6 days pregnant! Also, guess what?!?! We saw & heard the heartbeat! Our tiny baby had a beating heart and a tiny growing body. I’m so thankful I was able to get that ultrasound and see our little peanut.
The ultrasound was early on a Wednesday morning. By the time Friday night came around I began to notice some bleeding which made me nervous because I didn’t experience anything like that with Maizy. By 4:30am I was bleeding a lot to the point I was feeling sick. Jason, Maizy and I got in the car and headed to the hospital just to be safe. They ran some blood work and did an ultrasound.
Now, here’s the sad part.. I had been bleeding so much that by this point the miscarriage was already taking place. The baby had already made its way down to my cervix. On September 1, 2018 we lost our tiny baby who had a beating heart. For some reason, our baby had to return home. Jason and I are hurting in every way. I’m feeling pain physically and emotionally. This is hard because we love our little peanut but we know everything will be okay. We have faith that we will see our baby again. We know God has a plan for us and he is very aware of us and what is happening in our lives. That knowledge is getting us through this devastating time. Our hearts are hurting because we just lost our baby. I miss our tiny baby that had a growing body, a heartbeat and a due date. It’s just going to take time to heal and grieve. I am not angry nor do I blame myself or anyone/anything else. I don’t know why this had to happen but it did and I trust God. Some moments I feel so sad and hurt. Other moments I feel completely numb. Some days are better than others. Its just going to take time. Thankfully, there is also a special and peaceful feeling around me.
I am so grateful that families can be together forever. I am thankful for the Atonement of Jesus Christ that has been getting us through this tough time. I am learning things about myself that I didn’t know before and I am counting all my many blessings. God is really helping me get through this pain and have hope. Having Jason and Maizy by my side through this has been a huge blessing. I love them so much, more than I could ever put into words. They are my whole world. We want to thank all of our family and friends for all the kindness and prayers. We love you all so very much.